Season Two, Episode Seven: The Chicken Dance

Yay! Another episode which centers on a wedding! My favorite!

The Summary: So, Miranda’s friend Jeremy (who lives in London, but is sadly not actually British—what a wasted opportunity to feature a gent with an awesome accent!) is coming to visit her. They’ve been exchanging some kinda flirty e-mails, so she is hoping that perhaps their friendship might blossom into something deeper—richer—grander. (Even though, as noted above, he is not, in fact, British. Alas.) To make her home that much more charming for Jeremy’s pending stay, Miranda has hired a friend of Charlotte’s, Interior Decorator Madeline, to spruce up the place. (I will pause here to note that the actress who plays Madeline, Carrie Preston, is married to the charming Michael Emerson/the terrifying Ben Linus in real life. Sleep with one eye open, Ms. Preston, this is my advice to you. Because he seems so nice… UNTIL HE’S TOTALLY EVIL.) Anywhoozle, Jeremy and Madeline meet, fall in love at first sight, and become engaged. A week after they meet. Wowzer.

This whirlwind courtship/engagement/wedding throws all of our four ladies into something of a tizzy. Miranda, naturally, is totally bummed because… wasn’t Jeremy supposed to be her potential love interest? She feels totally invisible, overlooked, ill-fated. She shrugs it off by the end of the episode, however. Good! Charlotte, as per usual, sees the bright side of things (“I think this is encouraging. This means that even if you’re not dating anybody, you could be engaged in a couple of weeks”), and is delighted to be chosen as a bridesmaid in Madeline and Jeremy’s wedding. She has a whirlwind affair with Martin, one of Jeremy’s groomsmen, at the wedding itself (logistically tricky, but she manages to pull it off), but, of course, said whirlwind affair ends, not in an engagement, but rather in Martin’s dumping her. Charlotte is temporarily bummed by said dumping. (Charlotte, to Martin: “Did the last four and a half hours mean nothing to you?!?”) She shrugs it off by the end of the episode, however. Good! Sam, meanwhile, is worried that she might have run out of new gentlemen in New York to dally with, after having a “déjà fuck” (i.e., inadvertently sleeping with a man she’d already slept with, but had since totally forgotten about) with a bloke she met (re-met?) at Madeline and Jeremy’s engagement party. She gets drunk at Madeline and Jeremy’s wedding, and laments the fact that her Well of New Sexual Experiences with New Gentlemen may have run dry. She shrugs it off by the end of the episode, however. Good!

Carrie, meanwhile, is having Big problems. (SHOCKER.) She’s worried that he’ll never be able to make the kind of commitment to her which Jeremy is making to Madeline (after knowing her for approx. an hour… what could possibly go wrong there?) Red flags, once again they abound in The Land of Big. Big is displeased that he and Carrie get invited to Madeline and Jeremy’s wedding as a couple. (Even though… they are a couple.) Big refuses to sign the card which Carrie has gotten to accompany her and Big’s (she assumed) mutual gift to the happy pair. Big TAKES A CELL PHONE CALL as Carrie is reading a poem which she’d written about love at Madeline and Jeremy’s actual nuptials. Yeeeesh. True to form, Carrie obliquely tells Big that she needs more from him than he’s giving her. (Carrie to Big, as he is pressing her to leave the wedding early, because he’s bored: “I want someone who’s going to be with me to the end… of a wedding.” Way to cop out, Bradshaw!) Big once again shiftily gives in on the small point (sure he’ll stay with her till the end… of someone else’s wedding), while avoiding the main issue at hand. Sigh. Anyone else feel like they’re still trapped in Season One?

The Analysis:

I love this darned episode. As I have noted before, whenever the show tackles a wedding, it gives me a joy. They just always seem to give the conventional “how weddings are handled in romantic comedies” a festive little twist, and I bless them for that.

People of Color Watch: Even though Madeline and Jeremy’s nuptials are seemingly attended by half of Manhattan, the only person of color in the whole episode is an African-American man who plays a mover who brings Miranda’s new couch into her apartment. Fantastic.

Love At First Sight: Reality, or Torture Device?: So, the central question which Carrie (and all of the women) are grappling with in this episode is—is love at first sight real? (I will go on record myself as saying, yes, I think that it is. Happened to my grandparents, as it, well, happens. My grandfather saw my grandmother at a church choir practice (I KNOW, paging Norman Rockwell), nudged the friend he was with, and said, “I’m going to marry that girl.” Which he, in fact, did. Awwww. Myself, I’ve only fallen in love at first sight with 1) select vintage purses, 2) the college and university where I got all of my higher learnin’ done—I seriously did, I could even tell you what I was wearing when I saw them first, and 3) Guinness-flavored ice cream. But still—love at first sight involving actual people—I can believe it.)

I think the episode does a nice job of poking and prodding at the idea of love at first sight, without discounting it altogether. Because the subplot with Madeline and Jeremy is actually quite sweet and romantic--those two crazy kids do seem genuinely smitten with, and committed to, each other. (Though I’ll grant you, if a friend of mine told me she was engaged to a bloke she’d met the proceeding Tuesday, I’d probably stage an intervention. Even if it did mean that she would get to move to London.) Of course, in any other romantic comedy, the Madeline/Jeremy story would be the primary A plot, while the “comic misadventures of her single lady friends” would be the secondary B plot. I like that the episode turns this hierarchy on its head—making the center of our attention not Madeline’s fairy-tale-like romance, but the other women’s rather less picture-perfect grapplings with love, commitment, and the notion of romantic destiny.

My Favoritest Moment in the Whole Darned Episode: So at the end of the episode, the four women are standing around chatting when Madeline does her bouquet toss. Said bouquet heads straight for our quartet, naturally—and they watch it hit the ground at their feet with no other emotion save calm detachment. No screaming, no leaping, no diving—not a flicker of the stereotypical “single women becoming hysterical at the prospect of catching the bouquet, and ruthlessly knocking her friends over to do so” moments so beloved by most romantic comedy makers. Despite all of the anxieties which Madeline’s wedding has unleashed, in the end, these four unmarried women are actually quite content with being the unmarried women that they are—they’re clearly just as happy leaving the wedding with one another as Madeline is leaving it with Jeremy. I find that rather touching.

“I Don’t Think We’re in Single Digits Anymore”: Slut-Shaming Sam Watch?: I often feel a little uncomfortable when the question of Samantha’s sexual history comes up, because discussion of her significant number of past partners is often an uneasy blend of affirming that her sexual choices (freely and gleefully made) ought not to be judged or condemned, and an unpleasant tendency to play her “sluttiness” for laughs. When Sam muses to the ladies that she’d totally forgotten about the man she’d previously slept with, they seem to close ranks against her, in a very “you vs. us” kind of way. They are amused by Samantha’s plight (correction—Carrie and Miranda are amused, Charlotte is horrified and disapproving), implicitly drawing a line in the sand with said amusement, of a “We can feel free to find this funny, because this sort of thing would never happen to us, because we are not like you” variety. I dunno. Something about it doesn’t quite sit right with me. This is a very mild case of slut-shaming, I’ll grant you—but like so many mild cases—it seems poised to turn more serious at any minute.

Notable Quotables: Carrie and Big: discussing Madeline and Jeremy’s pending wedding:

Carrie: “These people actually think they’re soulmates.”

Big: “Did they actually use the term ‘soulmates’?”

Carrie: “Yes, several times.”

Big: “Then I give them three months.”

Next Up…?: “The Man, The Myth, The Viagra.” Ah, to be in the days when Viagra jokes were still shiny and new! So, in this episode, we shall discuss not only the little blue pills, but also modern day myths and legends about relationships, love, and such like. Should we believe in happily ever after, or not? Gold stars for all those who can guess where Miranda and Charlotte, respectively, come down on that sucker!

Season Two, Episode Four: They Shoot Single People, Don't They?

The Summary:

As you may have already gathered from the title, this is another episode which takes The Single Life/The Way The Single Folks Are Perceived and Treated as its central focus--so, naturally, I enjoy it tremendously. Not that it is not riddled with flaws, because to be sure... it is. But still--enjoyable!

So Carrie has been selected as the cover girl for a pending New York magazine article about the "single and fabulous." Clearly, the article will indeed be a joyous celebration of the positive aspects of the single life! Except... of course it's not. Carrie's photo shoot turns out to be disastrously unflattering, and the article itself "Single and Fabulous?: Eat, Drink, and Never Be Married" turns out to be a nasty attack on women who fritter away their "good" years, only to find themselves tragically and miserably single at the advanced age of 40. Of course it does.

The women all profess themselves to be totally unrattled by this article and its implications that their lives are tragic, wretched, and hollow... but of course, rattled they most certainly are. Miranda starts (re-)dating Josh ("an ophthalmologist I once faked orgasms with"), even though their sex life continues to be distinctly unsatisfying on her end. Eventually, she decides that maybe spending her entire life feigning sexual pleasure is not so much a desirable option. And so... buh-bye, Josh!

Similarly fearful of the horrors of continued single life, Charlotte and Samantha also take up with rather unsuitable gentlemen. Samantha's unsuitable gent is William, who starts referring to himself and Sam as a "we" and alluding to their future as a couple pretty much right after they meet. Naturally, he turns out to be a schmuck, who ditches Sam in pretty short order. She is momentarily sad that his "we'll do this, we'll do that" couple-talk was all rubbish, but quickly recovers (feeling much better after throwing a drink in his face while he chats up his next lady prospect.)

Charlotte's unsuitable gent is her friend Tom, a nice guy whom she has no romantic or sexual interest in, but whom she nonetheless decides to start dating because 1) he's pretty much the first guy she sees after panicking about the "Single and Fabulous?" article, and 2) as Charlotte puts it, "he's strong and masculine and can fix things around the house!" Sounds like a great reason to start a relationship to me! By the end of the episode, however, Charlotte concludes that the fact that Tom can successfully rewire lamps is not a sufficient foundation to build a lasting relationship on. Consequently, she and Tom amicably part ways. (I'm so glad not to have to write "and then Person A gets dumped," for once! A non-dramatic break-up, for a change!)

Carrie, meanwhile, all in a tizzy about being the city's poster girl for Tragic Spinsterhood and determined to prove to herself her continued youth and sexual desirability, throws herself at Jake (who is Bradley Frickin' Cooper, albeit sporting a really unflattering, floppy haircut--but still.) In the end she decides not to sleep with him, however, because if she did, it would be "the only time I'd ever slept with a man to validate my life." Turning away from Jake, Carrie notes, "I decided instead of running away from the idea of a life alone, I'd better sit down and take that fear to lunch. So I sat there, and had a glass of wine, alone. No books, no man, no friends, no armor, no faking." Good, getting comfortable being out in public as a Woman Alone sounds like a much more positive and healthy step than sleeping with an undesired stranger (even if said undesired stranger is Bradley Frickin' Cooper!)

The Analysis:

People of Color Watch: William, Sam's sleazy swaine, is Hispanic. His sleaziness is in no way tied to his ethnicity (good), though maybe it's a little annoying that he owns a salsa club (he couldn't have been an investment banker or a trader, like most of the other men Sam dates? No, he had to be doing something specifically "ethnic." Oh, those fiery Latins, with their fancy dancing!)

At one point in the episode, William stands Samantha up and she ends up crying in the restaurant where they were supposed to meet. During said tears, she is comforted by a Pakistani man working in the restaurant as a bus boy. In the course of said comforting, he kisses her and offers to go home with her (the folks at this restaurant must take the whole idea of customer service reeeeally seriously.) I'm a little troubled by this, because this bloke doesn't get a name, he's just referred to as the "Pakistani bus boy" over and over and over. And over. And seeing a grown man of at least 40 referred to again and again as a "boy," in a way that a white man of that age certainly wouldn't be...well, that has some nasty associations, now, doesn't it? Also, why do we need to keep hearing that he's Pakistani? If he was Latvian or Swedish or German, would his national origin be thus relentlessly referred to? I feel that it would not.

Maybe the Missionaries Didn't Have It All Figured Out... or Did They??? Watch: Frustrated by her persistently unsatisfactory sex life with Josh, Miranda rants a bit in this episode about how unrealistic the portrayal of heterosexual sexuality is in pop culture. Isn't it annoying, she fumes, that lots and lots of TV shows and movies show women effortlessly, rapidly coming after only a brief spell in the missionary position? Because maybe that's not so much reflective of many women's sexual experiences/responses, and works to distort yet further what "normal" sex is supposed to be like, making women feel badly about their own "performance"?

Excellent points all, these, there's just one leetle problem here--one of those TV shows which frequently presents us with such simplistic, deceptive representations of female sexuality is (all together now)--actually Sex and the City itself! Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha (because we see less of Carrie's actual sex life--one of the privileges of being the series star, who can demand a "no nudity, less sex" contract, I suppose) are often shown effortlessly, rapidly coming after only a brief spell in the missionary position.

Hmmmm. So once again we find ourselves in a "let us criticize something which we ourselves engage in" type situation. Sigh. So, points for noting that maybe female sexuality is more complex than mainstream pop culture often represents it as being, and no points for themselves actually being a pop culture venue which itself sometimes offers such non-complex representations of said sexuality.

Singlehood as Non-Tragic Watch: It will come as no surprise to you, I am sure, that one of the things I really like about this episode is that it does, indeed, tackle the negative ways in which single women (especially single women of a "certain age") are often perceived and treated in this American culture of ours. Which is to say... negatively, as unattractive, hopeless, and inevitably doomed to suffer emotional breakdown.

I like that the episode at once shows that these stereotypes do temporarily shake the women up (one is human, after all, and constantly being told that one's life is sad and pathetic if one does not have a fella--it takes its toll), but also makes it clear that said shaking up is temporary, because fundamentally, they actually are pretty happy in their lives, no matter what any magazine article has to say about it. Miranda realizes that the single life might actually be better than a coupled life characterized by chronic sexual discontent. Charlotte realizes that settling for a guy she doesn't actually care about just so that she can be in a relationship isn't fair to said guy, or to herself. Samantha realizes that it's better to be single than to be dating a jerk. Carrie realizes that maybe a life alone isn't something to run from, or be terrified by--that when New York magazine affirms that her life is a tragic, wasted opportunity, all because she's single and not 22--they're wrong. Lovely.

Notable Quotables: Samantha, after being dumped by William: "She realized something--no matter how much it hurts, sometimes it's better to be alone than fake it."

Carrie, shell-shocked in the wake of the terrible, single-shaming article's publication: "They said 'Single and Fabulous!', exclamation point, they did not say 'Single and Fabulous?', question mark! That question mark is hostile!"

Next-Up...?: "Four Women and a Funeral," in which Hugh Grant plays a charming, but bumbling Brit wooing a brittle American girl... or, no, wait, sorry it's actually about the ladies contemplating Morality, Life, Death, and Love. Heavy. Stuff. Oh, and Big is back! [Prepares desk to become reacquainted with head.]

Moments That Are More Like An SATC Episode Than They Are Like Real Life: A Tangent

So I recently went to get a facial (which in and of itself is more like an SATC episode than real life, since such pricey spa treatments are usually waaaay outside my adjunct self's financial purview--thank you, nice people who gave me cash for graduation!), and had a distinctly "I have been thrown into a humiliating Miranda plotline, circa about Season Two" type experience. Said experience went a little something like this [adding the caveat before I begin that the esthetician in question was a very nice lady and a very talented woman at her job--one does not wish to falsely paint a picture all black]:

Esthetician: "Do you have any children?"
Me: "Nope, no kids."
Esthetician: "Are you married?"
Me: "Nope, not married."
Esthetician: "But you have a boyfriend?"
Me: [feeling like I should be hooked up to a polygraph by this point, and wondering if delivering a lecture on heteronormativity to someone wielding what looks like a scalpel is entirely wise]: "Nope, I'm totally, completely, utterly single!"
Esthetician: [poking at my skin critically]: "Well, when we fix this, that will change."
Me: [silent, thinking to self that self does not want a husband or boyfriend who would want me only on the condition that I successfully banished all of the imperfect "thises" from my person.]
Esthetician: [poking at a different patch of my skin even more critically]: "You can tell that you are a single lady from your skin. Hormones, girl, hormones! That is what makes your skin like this."
Me: [wondering why, if it is so obvious from my skin that I am unmarried, I was even asked whether or not I was married in the first place]: "But... wouldn't I still have hormones, even if I was married, or had a boyfriend?"
Esthetician: [jabs at part of my skin with a sharp metal implement, thus effectively silencing me for the duration.]

So, in case the lessons to be gleaned from this exchange are not clear to you:

1) I have troubled skin because I do not have a boyfriend or husband to keep my hormones in check.
2) My troubled skin is making it tricky for me to attract a boyfriend or husband who will keep my hormones in check. (The world of the Catch-22... I live in it.)
3) Basically, keeping my hormones in check is key here.
4) Also, all women are straight.

Got that? Now if you'll excuse me, now that my skin is freshly facialed, I need to betake myself out there to find me my very own Hormone Check-er! They are not going to check themselves, people!

Single Blessedness vs. Tragic Spinsterhood: A Tangent

So, as I noted several posts ago, one of the things that I love about SATC is the way that it takes one of the very fundamental assumptions of our culture--that finding, having, and keeping a significant other are mandatory items to check off on all of our personal to-do lists--and picks at it. Pokes it, prods it, questions it. Does not let it lie easy, but instead keeps picking it up and shaking it--like a snow globe which has been left too long dusty and untouched on a shelf.

It does it problematically and imperfectly, I'll grant you, but still--SATC ultimately affirms singlehood as a legitimate, valuable, and even joyful state of being. And living in a culture which all too often presents being single as a tragic, pitiable thing for a woman over (what, now, 25?) to be, it warms my icy spinsterish heart to see a show which presents being single as something which women (yes, even women over 30) can actively choose, and deeply enjoy.

Because being single has been, and continues to be, quite a lovely thing, for me. I have not endured it, I have not tolerated it, I have not learned to live with it--I have loved it. And continue to love it, even though I have reached an age at which society indicates that I... shouldn't. Shouldn't still be single (one) or contented with said singlehood (two). Though I stand a mere stone's throw away from thirty, I am still quite happy in my single state. And it's nice to see something of that reflected in pop culture, for once--to not always be Bridget Jones, mopily waiting around for Mark Darcy to come and put her chaotic life into some kind of order--to give her her very own happily ever after. (I see the merit in waiting around for Colin Firth to show up on your doorstep in a reindeer sweater, I do, but still--that is not my life.)

Please note that I'm not saying here that there's anything wrong with being single and not loving it. I don't want to topple the "everyone is happier when they are married/partnered" orthodoxy just to replace it with an orthodoxy of my very own. ("Mandatory Single Contentment"?) I am deliriously happy being a teacher, but I don't expect that everyone else on the planet would be. I love living in my little failed steel town at the edge of Pennsylvania, but I don't expect that lots of folks would do so. I itch if I don't get on a plane at least once every few months, but that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with wanting to stay put. We all want, need, and love different things. Given that, I don't want to say that other people should be happy single, just because I'm happy single. And, given that... why is it that our culture tells us that there is only one proper way to be, and that that way is coupled?

In a similar vein, please also note that I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with being married or partnered and loving that. I don't want to to do the reverse of our culture's "getting married is the mature, responsible choice, and will necessarily make you happier" thing, and pull a "being single is the only path to true contentment, and if you think otherwise, then you're duping yourself." I also don't want to suggest that, for the womenfolk, being married/partnered is somehow less of a feminist or independent state than being single is, because I don't think that that's true--I have too many amazing, fiercely independent female friends with boyfriends, girlfriends, fiances, partners, and husbands to ever make the mistake of thinking that that's the case.

It's kind of like that Kelly Clarkson song that drives me up a tree (okay, ONE of those Kelly Clarkson songs that drives me up a tree), "Miss Independent." You remember it, do you not? It's all about this girl (Miss Independent by name, as you may recall) who is all stand-offish and do-it-herselfish--and then she falls in love, and poof! Miss Independent is no more! Soooo... a couple of problems there: 1) why is "independent" presumed to be a dirty word for women--why is independence presented as a troubling condition which we need to rid ourselves of, and should, indeed, be proud and eager to shed?, and 2) why do we assume that once Miss I. finds true love that she is no longer, in fact, independent? Are the two mutually exclusive? I'm going to go with... no, they are not. I have a friend who met, and has been with, the same delightful bloke since she was fourteen years old, and a stronger, more independent-minded gal you rarely do see. So love and independence... perhaps not as antagonistic as Kelly Clarkson would have us believe?

I think of it kind of like going to college. I loved the school that I went to, and I simply could not have been happier there. It was lovely. But what if I had gone to a different, equally delightful school, somewhere else? I'm sure that I would have been happy there, too--that I still would have learned wonderful things and had grand adventures. It just would have been different, that's all. Different lessons learned, different adventures had.

I think of "partnered v. single" as being rather like that. If I had met the love of my life as a lass of twenty (as my mom did), it's not that I think that I would have been unhappy, or that my life would somehow have been less than it is now. It just would have been different. A different path with different pitfalls and different pleasures--different frustrations and different contentments.

The thing is, I am just so darned glad that I ended up on the path that I did. It's the college thing all over again. When I went to Smith to work in their archives a few years ago, did I fall in love with the place at first sight? Yes. Did I think about what an amazing thing it would be to be an undergrad there, generally, and what my life as an undergrad there might have been like, specifically? [Pauses to cackle at the very idea of actually being able to get into Smith as a lass of seventeen, or ever.] Absolutely. But remarkable as I'm sure that Other Life--as the many Other Lives which I might have had--might have been, in the end, I only want the one I have.

It's not that my icy spinster's heart is closed to the possibility of couplehood or of love. Said icy spinster's heart is quite open-minded, I think. (If hearts can have minds...?) Charlotte Bronte is my favorite author, for Pete's sake. I love me a "sarcastic, difficult lass meets a bloke who loves her not in spite of, but precisely because of, said sarcasm and difficulty" story. Maybe a version of that story will be my story, one day. Maybe it won't. But either way, I hope that I'll have an interesting story.

And so I'll never know what it's like to be married for more than half a century, the way my grandparents were. (Unless I meet the love of my life within the next five minutes or so, which--looking to both my left and my right--seems doubtful.) I'll never know what it's like to spend my entire young adulthood with a person I love, the way my parents did. But still, I wouldn't trade any of my pleasures for their pleasures--any of my experiences for their experiences--any of my lessons for their lessons. I want exactly the memories which I have behind me, and exactly the future which I have in front of me. And to have a TV show reflect that the idea that my life (as a single lass of nearly thirty) might actually be a life worth wanting, rather than pitying--well, THAT feels pretty darned revolutionary.

Season One, Episode Three: Bay of Married Pigs

... or, Charlotte Seriously Broke Up With a Bloke About Differing Taste in China Patterns, What the Heck?

The Summary: I will begin with a disclaimer that I just love this darned episode, and that said love might blunt my critical teeth a little. But then... I think I love it for perfectly good, legitimate reasons! (Ah, self-justification, what an art-form and a pleasure thou art.)

So, this episode is the first to focus explicitly on The State of Being Single. What does it MEAN to be single, anyway? What is it LIKE? [Mutters under breath: "... for straight, wealthy, urban women in their 30s."] How does society perceive you, if you are one of the unwed? Is there some kind of simmering hostility, um, simmering between The Unmarrieds and The Marrieds? Well, let's find out!

The episode begins with Carrie staying at the beach house of her married friends, Patience and Peter. (I am guessing they live on Alliteration Beach?) They're having a lovely time until one morning Carrie bumps into Peter in the hallway, sans his pants. (Because... it's very common to wander around one's home underpantless when one has guests?) She mentions this pantless-bumping-into to Patience, who promptly ejects Carrie from her hearth and home, declaring all the while that Carrie cannot understand her wrath because, of course, Carrie isn't married.

Returning to the city in the wake of this incident, it's Musings Over Singlehood Aplenty! Carrie talks to married and single people about what they think about their respective states, and about each other. In the process, she also muses about whether or not she herself is the marrying kind (her tendency is to doubt it) and gets set up with Sean, whom she describes as "the Marrying Guy... that elusive and rare Manhattan man whose sights were set on marriage." He's nice enough, but Carrie breaks up with him--she says, because she knows that he wants marriage and she doesn't know what she wants--though I think the fact that he's represented as being "waiting-at-the-DMV-without-a-book" boring might also have something to do with it.

Meanwhile, it's rankling with Miranda that she's the only single lawyer at her law firm, and that her married colleagues seem to be getting preferential treatment on account of their married status. (Invites to parties and informal social get-togethers by boss for married colleagues? Yes. Similar invites for Single Miranda? No.) She consequently allows herself to get set up by a colleague at a firm event... only it turns out, the set up is a lady, Syd. (Whoopsies!) When the head of her law firm mistakenly thinks the two are actually a couple, he's suddenly interested in adding Miranda (plus ostensible girlfriend) to his social circle. Miranda would love to be a part of said social circle, but she eventually concedes that she can't pretend to be a lesbian purely in order to advance her career. (Also, it would seem rather unfair to ask Syd--who is a total bloody stranger, after all--to pretend to be her girlfriend on a long-term basis, one would think... but no matter!)

The Charlotte and Samantha plotlines are pretty minimal in this episode. After Carrie dumps Sean, she sets him up with Charlotte (who, of course, is also of the Eager to Marry stripe.) Charlotte also dumps Sean quite rapidly, however, when she learns more about his (she feels, dubious) taste in china patterns. (Again, I suspect the "dull ditchwater looks radiantly interesting by comparison" thing might also be playing a role here.) At a party which the ladies attend, Samantha gets quite, quite drunk (after having been patronized and looked askance at for her singlehood), during which drunken state she seduces a beautiful Irish doorman who wears sock suspenders. Ah, that every drunken evening concluded thus!

The Analysis:

Lesbian Ladies with Speaking Roles Tally: It begins! I'll grant you, Syd doesn't actually say too much--but still, number of lesbian characters whose names we learn and whose personalities are at least faintly sketched out for us... one! Also, this is totally giving the show credit for something which should just be a default, but it's still nice to see Syd presented in a positive, non-stereotypical way here, and to see that the writers chose not to have Miranda react with distaste when assumed to be a lesbian by her colleague. (She's more annoyed at having wasted Syd's time than she is anxious at having her Sacred Heterosexuality questioned.) The episode also shows that Miranda and Syd get along well, have a nice day together... unremarkable in and of itself, but since the show will later suggest that straight and queer women can't be friends, I value this moment. (Additionally, if tangentially, Cynthia Nixon looks very dashing in the suit and tie which she slaps on to go her faux-date with Syd. Yes, dressing her like a 1920s movie gangster when she is pretending to be one of The Lesbians is totally cliche, but also... snazzy!)

Thing About This Episode Which Has Me Scratching My Head: Okay, so, while we're talking about Syd, riddle me this. Say that you yourself are Syd. You get set up with a nice gal, who informs you that she's straight. Bummer, but whatever, you still have a nice time hanging out with her. Said nice gal then asks you to go to a dinner party with her as her faux-date, at her boss' house. You don't really know the person who has invited you to this dinner party. You don't know any of the other people who will be at this dinner party. Are you just doing a favor to this nice gal you hardly know...? Have you formed a hopeless crush on this (unavailable) nice gal...? (The show doesn't indicate that this is the case.) Is it that the Lesbian Ladies have so much free time that they're free to escort straight women to dinner parties as their reverse-beards at will...? Why...? What...? How...?

And How Could I Have Not Mentioned Stanford Already?: Call me a bad person, if you like, because this is the first time I'm mentioning the character of Carrie's dear friend and "gay husband" (as she dubs him), Stanford Blatch, even though he has appeared in every episode of the show so far. It's not like I have some kind of personal vendetta against the actor who portrays Stanford, Willie Garson. (Garson is adorable, and very charming in interviews.) It's just that the show hasn't really given Stanford very much of interest to do, yet. (Suggestive in and of itself, perhaps?) He is clearly a staunch and loving friend to Carrie. He has a crush on the beautiful but dim underwear model whom he represents as his agent. And... that is all.

Until this episode, at least. This episode gives us an interesting Stanford moment, I think--as well as a little "These Past Few Decades in Gay Marriage" history lesson. (Yay! I love history lessons!) So, in this episode, when Stanford and Carrie are talking about the whole "married vs. single" thing, Stanford laments that all the gay couples he knows are going to Hawaii get married, "putting on a caftan, and feeling superior to me." Now, for the historical background! So, in 1993, a Hawaii court ruled that denying marriage to same-sex couples constituted discrimination. (Well done!) Alas, this ruling later resulted in a state-wide ban on gay marriage. (Badly done!) As of this particular moment in 2010, Hawaii courts have struck down efforts at both civil unions and gay marriages. (Extremely bad done!)

So at this interesting historical moment, in 1998, when gay marriage/civil unions are starting to seem possible, we have Stanford questioning whether or not gay marriage/civil unions are actually the best thing for the LGBT community. Now I'll grant you, he's clearly not doing this from a political, "why should we embrace a heterosexual model historically rooted in inequality and oppression?" perspective, but more from a personal "how irritating for me that now even some of my gay friends are Smug Marrieds" perspective, but still. Interesting.

Thing Which Makes Me Clap My Hands With Glee About This Episode: I am particularly fond of this episode specifically because of the discussions which the girls (darn it, so hard not to use said infantilizing language...) have about being single women in their 30s, and what that means in terms of the ways in which they are perceived and treated. Like when Carrie notes that she actually does like being single most of the time--except for those times "like family functions, when you're the only one who's not married, and they sit you at the kids' table." Like when the ladies commiserate over being the only single person at a party/wedding/assorted other social function and being treated to a wealth of " 'poor single you' looks." I like the fact that the show brings forward that these women (apart from Charlotte, yes, always apart from Charlotte) are pretty happy with their single lives--and that part of what makes them unhappy about said lives comes from the negative ways in which singlehood is perceived/single people are treated. Re-watching this episode has actually sparked so much singlehood-themed ranting in me that I'll be devoting another post to it anon. So stay tuned for anon!

Random Fact About This Episode I Am Quite Confident You Will Not Care About: The actress who plays Syd reads my favorite audiobook version of The Awakening. She does an amazing job. I just love The Awakening. That is all.

Immortal Words, Memorable Lines: Unidentified married woman whom Carrie talks to about marriage for her column: "Some people, like me, choose to grow up, face reality, and get married. And others choose to, what, live an empty, haunted life of stunted adolescence?" (This sucker just cracks me up every darned time I hear it--yes, it's an exaggeration of how our society looks at The Single Folks... but alas, not that big of an exaggeration.)

Carrie, musing on The Single State: "Sure, it'd be great to have that one special person to walk home with. But sometimes, there's nothing better than meeting your single girlfriends for a night at the movies." (Awwww.)

Next Up...?: An episode entitled "Valley of the 20-Something Guys" in which three of the ladies date younger men and muse on the perils and pleasures thereof, and one of the first "Lengthy Discussions About Anal Sex To Take Place in a Cab" scenes ever to air on cable TV occurs!